Corktown Canada Day fun — we stand on guard for thee, I’m sorry!

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TRUE NORTH: Dennis Kucherawy’s unique, self designed T-shirt.  Being made at Corktown’s LOGO MAJIK

By Dennis Kucherawy, Corktown Correspondent 

Blog post courtesy of songandscript.ca

Canada– Some Laughs and Poignant Insights About the Greatest Country in the World

“I don’t trust any country that looks around a continent and says, ‘Hey, I’ll take the frozen part.'”

– Jon Stewart

Happy Canada Day to all our dear corktown.ca friends…

As we ramp up to our country’s 148th birthday, here are some funny and profound observations about our home and native land.

Enjoy and ponder them, maybe over a beer at Odin …a plate of mouthwatering, red and white pasta with friends at Giuseppe Pelligra’s Fusilli Ristorante… or delicious burgers at Saber Chowdhury’s Flame Shack…maybe while watching fireworks… or maybe just sitting quietly contemplating a silent, placid lake in the Muskokas… chilling, waving at the lake and letting the lake wave back.

“What is a Canadian? A Canadian is a fellow wearing English tweeds, a Hong Kong shirt and Spanish shoes, who sips Brazilian coffee sweetened with Philippine sugar from a Bavarian cup while nibbling Swiss cheese, sitting at a Danish desk over a Persian rug, after coming home in a German car from an Italian movie… and then writes his Member of Parliament with a Japanese ballpoint pen on French paper, demanding that he do something about foreigners taking away our Canadian jobs.”

– Anonymous

“Our national animal is the beaver…noted for its industry and its co-operative spirit. In medieval bestiaries it is also noted for its habit, when frightened, of biting off its testicles and offering them to its pursuer. I hope we are not succumbing to some form of that impulse.”

– Margaret Atwood, on capitulating to the inundation of American culture

“Confederation is like a mail-order bra. Intended to uplift and enhance, it instead draws attention to the cleavage.”

– Unknown

“There is no such thing as a model or ideal Canadian. What could be more absurd than the concept of an “all Canadian” boy or girl? A society which emphasizes uniformity is one which creates intolerance and hate.”

– Pierre Trudeau, speech to the Ukrainian-Canadian Congress, Winnipeg, Manitoba, October 9, 1971

“The past is to be respected and acknowledged, but not to be worshipped. It is our future in which we will find our greatness”

– Pierre Trudeau

“Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. Like: ‘Keep it down, eh?'”

– Robin Williams

“I don’t trust any country that looks around a continent and says, ‘Hey, I’ll take the frozen part.'”

– Jon Stewart

“Canada is like your attic, you forget that it’s up there, but when you go, it’s like ‘Oh man, look at all this great stuff!'”

– Unknown

“Canada is a nation of people who came from somewhere else.”

– Microsoft Encarta

“Moosejaw saw a few, Moosamin too, runnin’ back to Saskatoon. Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat – sing another Prairie tune.”

– The Guess Who

“Canadian money is also called the loonie. How can you take an economic crisis seriously?”

– Robin Williams

“A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care.”

– John Wing

“When I left your house this morning
it was a little after nine.
It was in Bobcaygeon I saw the constellations
reveal themselves one star at a time.”

– “Bobcaygeon”, The Tragically Hip

“Hysterically funny, amazingly talented people. That’s what I think of when I think of Canada. That, and cold beer. And mountains.”

– Richard Patrick

“Let us be French, let us be English, but most importantly let us be Canadian!”

– John A. Macdonald

“Mon pays ce n’est pas un pays, c’est l’hiver.” (“My country is not a country, it’s winter.”)

– “Mon Pays”, Gilles Vigneault

“Under this flag may our youth find new inspiration for loyalty to Canada; for a patriotism based not on any mean or narrow nationalism, but on the deep and equal pride that all Canadians will feel for every part of this good land.”

– Lester Pearson

“And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever”

– “Suzanne”, Leonard Cohen

“Canadians, like their historians, have spent too much time remembering conflicts, crises, and failures. They forgot the great, quiet continuity of life in a vast and generous land. A cautious people learns from its past; a sensible people can face its future. Canadians, on the whole, are both.”

– Desmond Morton

“Winter nights are long, summer days are gone
Portage and Main fifty below
Springtime melts the snow, rivers overflow
Portage and Main fifty below
Portage and Main fifty below”

– “Prairie Town”, Randy Bachman and Neil Young

“It’s going to be a great country when they finish unpacking it.”

– Andrew H. Malcom

“You look at the history — the aboriginal people welcomed the first settlers here with open arms, fed us and took care of us … that continues today, we welcome people from all nations to come in and share.”

– Peter Stoffer

“The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it’s own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees.”

– June Callwood

“He was sitting in the lounge of the Empire Hotel
He was drinking for diversion
He was thinking for himself
A little money riding on the Maple Leafs
Along comes a lady in lacy sleeves
She says…
‘Let me sit down
You know, drinkin’ alone’s a shame
It’s a shame, it’s a crying shame'”

– “Raise on Robbery”, Joni Mitchell, 

“I am deeply moved by the warmth and courage of the Canadian people which I felt so strongly during my recent visit to your country. Your support of the struggle against apartheid restored me in my journey home and reassured me that many just people around the world are with us.”

– Archbishop Desmond Tutu

“In only a century and a quarter since Confederation, Canadians have shaped out of the North American wilderness one of the most privileged societies on the face of the earth. Ranking among the seven most prosperous nations in the world, Canada is rich not only in the abundance of our resources and the magnificence of our land, but also in the diversity and the character of our people. We have long been known as one of the most tolerant, progressive, innovative, caring and peaceful societies in existence.”

– “The Will of a Nation: Awakening the Canadian Spirit”, by George Radwanski & Julia Luttrell

We’ll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us.”

– Andy Barrie

“On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh, Canada
With your face sketched on it twice…

Oh, you’re in my blood like holy wine.
You taste so bitter and so sweet.
Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling
And I’d still be on my feet.
I would still be on my feet.”

– “A Case of You”, Joni Mitchell

“Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners. And necessity has made us allies.”

– John F. Kennedy, May 17, 1961, address to Canadian parliament

As a crazy act of patriotic duty … and with no apologies …veteran Corktown resident Dennis Kucherawy is determined to visit every town listed in The Guess Who’s classic song “Runnin’ Back to Saskatoon” … Moose Jaw, Mossamin, Red Deer, Terrace, Medicine Hat.

He’s already done Red Deer, where he got an $80 speeding ticket from Officer Doll. On the up side, the great Métis architect Douglas Cardinal’s St. Mary’s Church there is breathtakingly sublime, one of the greatest in the world. He met Doug in Edmonton in the 1980s and is privileged to call him his friend.

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